Oftentimes when we reject others, it can be indicative of us not liking something about ourselves; aspects of our own character we find hard to accept. It becomes evident when in the presence of someone we either clash with, or just don’t like. Why? The very thing that bothers us about a person is often the same flaw within our own character. It can be challenging when we come in contact with an individual that mirrors our fears, hurt, insecurities, parts of ourselves that are not yet developed; the places in us that need of liberation, healing and growth. It can be especially frustrating if we are not equipped to address the discomfort; or if we cannot put our finger on the underlying reason for this inner conflict that ignites when around certain people. Their very presence tends to reflect powerlessness over what we have not yet mastered.
I’m reminded of a time when another female and I had to share the same space for a few months. Both of us were at pivotal points in our life; lost pieces of our identity through circumstances; made a mess of our lives; and were starting over to restructure our lives in a healthy way. Without words, automatically she silently confronted places within me that were weak, immature, broken, bound, hurt and afraid; she was me and I was her. To look at one another presented a reflection of our brokeness during that time in our lives. Encounters with each other sent cues that called for change. So what are some solutions when confronted with our mirror?
For starters, honest intropspection, get to the point where we are able to recognize similiarities we share; and admit these are shortcomings we either don’t like within us; need to improve or may be struggling to achieve freedom, power, awareness and/or growth. That said, rather than lash out, silently sulk in feelings of frustration, anger, resentments or dislike for that soul; we can start by learning to love and accept ourselves for who and where we are in our journey, it begins with us. This isn’t always easy, so we may need our Higher Power or someone objective to get involved, give ear to us and offer sound feedback. After all, if we could’ve changed whatever it is, we would’ve changed it. Another hopeful approach is practice empathy; how would we desire to be treated when we come across that individual? Extending empathy involves a decision; which is growth in itself. It is one way of actually learning to love and accept oneself when you extend love toward a person that’s hard to accept; it creates a reciprocal effect. Again, they are a reflection of you; it is like healing you. Moreover, we can ask God to heal, empower, and grow us up in that part of our being right where we are. Keep in mind this is not an event, it’s a process.
Keep it up and the next time we interact with that “special” someone, we may find ourselves accepting that person; OR we discover we have grown beyond our hang ups to the point we can genuinely help that individual along the path of growth and change. How ironic. This is just one form of love and acceptance as we love and accept others.
Beatrice Tate Jackson